i'm not gonna give it up!

eh...dah 7:37 pagi.

DOWN!-subuh terlepas.

Terus pergi mandi sebab nak pergi kelas U3 yang selama ini dinantikan.

Tetapi rekod pagi ini tercipta: Masa bersiap paling cepat, sebab naik bas pukul 8:00 pagi tadi. Selalu ambil masa satu jam yea untuk ke mana-mana, termasuk ke kelas. Tersenyum di atas bas keseorangan sambil tak sabar nak masuk kelas tuh.

Sampai di FSSK, tercangak-cangak cari mana dia '3A 502'/dewan kuliah.

'Owh...kat atas'.

Memandangkan masa dah lambat sebab kelas bermula pukul 8:00, bergegas la budak comot naik tangga.

Bila buka je pintu bilik yang berjaya dijumpai, kelihatan seorang pensyarah wanita sedang duduk dan di hadapannya seorang pelajar wanita(FST-sebab tengok nama dia ditulis di namelist, tahun 3).

Sambil buka pintu, budak comot bertanya: "is this the ******* ******'s class'

Pensyarah wanita itu menjawab-"yes, masuk2!'. Terus ambil tempat.

'kita tunggu sampai lapan setengah, kalau yang lain tak datang i tell you what to do to fulfill your 3 kredit hours'

*********************************************
jam menunujukkan '8:30' pagi!

"ok memandangkan yang 4 lagi tak datang (fyi- hanya 6 org sahaja yg mendaftar kursus ini!) maybe kursus ini akan digugurkan, sebab polisi bahagian akademik sendiri yang menetapkan kalau kurang daripada 10 orang yang mendaftar, kursus itu akan dibatalkan.'

-terus DOWN! dengan kehadiran kelas, sebab kita orang 2 je yang datang. At least kalau semua orang datang, kita bole 'sort this out'.

"kalau you nak kelas ngan i lagi, you drop this course and take '******** **** *******', kelas tu 2-5 hari ******, tapi kalau kelas tuh clash ngan mana2 you pnya subjek, you boleh amik masa nih, so i akan datang ajar you"

-Sangat mulia pensyarah ni, sampai sanggup mencadangkan cadangan sebegitu rupa, tapi aku still nak amik course ni jugak!

"so, i terpaksa suruh you gugur kursus ini soon,ambil kursus lain, but depend dengan the rest yang tak datang ni"

-Macam dah tak ada harapan-kursus apa yang aku nak amik kalau kursus ni tak ada. Yang lain tu macam 'biasa-biasa jer'(berlagaknya aku!).

"so apa-apa hal i akan contact you, so kelas boleh bersurai"

tiba-tiba...macam ada sinar baru muncul...sinar2 yang akan membuat aku ngan sorang lagi tu akan ambil kos ni! sorang lagi tuh terus menuju ke arahnya.

'puan, sebenarnya saya daftar kursus ni dulu waktu shortsem, tapi memandangkan ada kekangan, saya drop. tapi sampai kat bahagian akademik, kursus tu tak drop pon, so saya sekarang ni repeat paper ni'

'owh macam itu ke'

aku apa lagi-terus membatu api kat situ:

'puan...would it be possible kita teruskan jer kursus ni because since yang kita orang je yang datang and dia pun terpaksa repeat...kelas kita buat kat bilik puan je, tak perlu datang sini....i memang tak ada apa2 masalah...puan ajar je kita org 2'

aku pun bercakap ngan penuh semangat!

terpancar pulak riak kegembiraan di muka pensyarah itu.

'ok...kalau macam tu, i akan konfemkan dengan bahagian akademik...in the meantime...y'all 2 buat surat kepada i, kenapa-kenapa-kenapa, kursus ini harus dikekalkan, i rasa dengan cara itu, kita boleh adakan kursus ini'

dalam hati berdetak-YES!

kami berdua keluar dengan menggenggam satu harapan-dengan cara itu boleh kita amik kursus itu.

p/s:tak perlu ramai-ramai...kalau setakat daftar tapi tak datang, baik korang dok umah goyang kaki, tak payah jadi pelajar ukm.

this year-fashion forward-backward-upward-downward!

dear readers,



the moment i write this, i am thinking of what will be my 4th semester in FUU is going to be like.

then mind started to think about-'Fashion'-then i tend to write something about fashion and style for this year.



the post's title itself oulining the thought, inspiration, and aspiration for this year style.

first-Fashion forward

fashion is something that moved forward and developed and it doesn't remain static. it expresses people's self in a sensible way. so for this year, mine would be more stylish than before. not going to be 'overexaggerating', this year will be witnessing outfit that 'sharp' and 'unexpectable'.

axcessories should be 'in' with the style. handbags still complement the look.



second-Fashion backward

it might sound a bit odd. but i'm suggesting that though 'fashion forward', but still it should be 'reviewed'. looking the old style, which is not suits you. then a call for a change must be made as being fashionable is fashion which hide your imperfection. if there is skirt, shirt, pant that does not suit you, do something about it or don't wear it. as for me, shirts are to 'small' or to 'large' are always a problem to my appearance-the size should be just nice. un-ironed shirts is a mess!.



third-Fashion upward

always think of something that beyond the others might think when it comes to be in style. that is, wearing something that others don't dare to wear or create a distinctive look. be confident in what you wear and doesn't afraid of being criticise. Maybe a change for the style- a new haircut, new excessories, and the most important is what do you think or inspire from your sorroundings that transpire you in your style.



last-Fashion downward

fashion might cost you a fortune!. the price worth paying, you can get another that can be paid less. i'm not suggesting that you should by the 'paste'-'fake'-'pirate'-'unoriginal'-'copycat', of Prada, Gucci, Armani, Versace, D&G, usually bags that you bought in the market but try to have something that looks eexpensive or look alike but it is not the 'duplicate' of the 'original' one. if you can afford it you can buy those which is exclusively displayed in stores but fashion shouldn't be too be too expensive till it is called fashion. as for me wear something that make you really stylish is more that enough instead of buying expensive brands(though it put you 'on track'). but it must not make you look 'cheap', 'ugly' and 'unpleasant.



that's it...the four motion of fashion i realise that should be shared with you guys. Looking forward to see my friends with their own new style.

why do all good things come to an end?

i flipped through all my photos, taken since i was like 4-5 something until picture taken last few weeks.

feelings varied as every photos were of different story as they told my 'revolution'. it is a series of journey of my life in my 'growing up years'. happy, funny, sad, tears, joy, shocked, disturbed, hatred, disbelief, were all taken place in every picture with the story behind them.

after flipping and seeing through all the photos, i came to the realization with a question of-'why do all good things came to an end?'.

yup, everyone has their own happy memories happened in their growing up years. it would be absurd to admit that they did't have one. the memories will always remain in mind though some are kept or preserved in photos taken.

when every starts of something whether good or bad, surely i will beg that it will last forever and it will remain. as for me-good or bad, it is still be a good one in the end. however, it seems to be uneverlasting that it soon come to an end. it's like a hot cup of tea and soon it turns cold in the end and we refuse to drink it after all.

at first i can't seem to understand...as i grew up, then it changed into thought that the things shouldn't remain. this is because of a lot of reasons that if it is remained and lasting, we won't be able to make another memories...if it goes the same, we won't learn something...if it ends, we won't cherish it like i did right now when seeing all the photos.

so, the 'good things' do come to an end but, an after that it will remain in your heart, your mind and some were captured into photos...kept with you as long as you could see it until your eyes shut.

every story behinds fotos or flashes of memories in my mind tell me that i should go on with my life as you can't undo things. after you learn from the 'past', use it as the 'past' is the best teacher that happened to make you believe in yourself.

lastly-why do all good things come to an end? it must end but it still remain in the form that you will carry it with you wherever you go or you can see it as it can be captured!

p/s:...listening to 'Cherish' by the 'Kool and the Gang"!

Melankoli AidilAdha.

'Post' ini adalah tulisan yang agak 'melankoli'



baca blog kawan-kawan, dia orang semua letak gambar sambut aidiladha dengan 'atuk', 'opah', 'nenek' dan sebagainya. cerita dia orang memang best. cerita gelagat nenek2 mereka menyambut adiladha, kelatah mereka bersama mereka di kampung, suasana di kampung dan sebagainya.



tiba-tiba, mula rasa sayu dengan diri sendiri. kampung tinggal kampung. kampung aku adalah KL ni...'layak ke aku konotasi kan KL sebagai 'KAMPUNG". dulu memang ada kampung, MELAKA, to be exact-'KG. GELAM, TANJUNG KLING, MELAKA". tapi sejak kedua-dua atuk dan nenek tak ada sejak bertahun-tahun lepas, memang tiada lagi istilah 'balik kampung'. belah abah, kat sini je, rumah nenek ambil masa dalam 10 minit sampai kalau berjalan kaki dari rumah.



ok, sekarang nak cerita atuk dan nenek belah abah.



atuk Malek, tak pernah berjumpa malah bertegur sapa pon. tak pernah kenal pun dia. dia pergi sebelum budak comot sempat dilahirkan. mengikut kata abah, mak ngah, mak long leha dan nenek, atuk orangnya tinggi, tegap dan bersuara garau. tapi entah la, 'description' macam mane sekalipun dia orang bagi, still tak dapat imagine him.



nenek Che Wah pergi masa budak comot form 4. dia meninggal sebab sakit tua. masa tu, i am the only one yang tak ada di sisi dia waktu dia meniggal, sebab duduk asrama. nenek ni suka memasak jugak. tapi nenek ni lain sikit 'peel dia. tapi tak mahu la cerita pasal orang yang dah pergi. tapi nenek ni memang kelakar. dia tak pernah baca mana-mana buku resipi tapi tau masak segala benda. tak pernah masak ikut sukatan ke, kiraan ke and so forth sebab dia buta huruf. tapi yang kagumnya dia boleh masak ikut sukatan 'agak-agak' dia je.

atuk sebelah mak, Md Seh, sempat kenal dia. Atuk ni garang. tapi dia pandai menjahit. mak belajar menjahit daripada dia. atuk Md Seh meninggal sebab sakit. pernah dulu kami satu keluarga berulang alik ke kampung, hantar atuk ke hospital.

nenek Lijah, sebelah mak paling best. dia pon garang jugak. tapi dia memang pandai serba serbi memasak makanan-makanan kampung. Kuih bakar dia paling sedap!. pernah waktu raya buat sama-sama dengan dia. selain itu, pernah kat kampung bakar lemang, buat kuih kapit, rendang and so forth. duduk dengan nenek kat kampung memang best. nenek ni memang banyak cerita dengan pengalaman, bila duduk dekat rumah, suka melayan dia. Nenek ni meninggal mengejut, pada mulanya ok, selepas dia mengadu sakit perut, keesokan harinya meninggal dunia di Hospital selepas satu malam di tahan di wad.

tapi tu semua tu dulu, sekarang mereka-mereka dah tak ada. Sangat rindu dengan hilai-tawa, senda-gurau, masa gembira dan duka dengan dia orang. pendek kata if i could turn back time, i wanted to turn back to old those days and cherishes the every moment spent with them, thus, get to know them.

sekarang ini, tinggal makcik-makcik belah abah je yang tinggal dekat rumah nenek yang 10 minit jalan kaki dari tu. tetapi, mereka juga sedang meniti usia tua mereka. setiap kali berjumpa mereka, seakan seperti, mereka semakin hari semakin nampak 'peningkatan umur' mereka. mereka tidak seperti dulu, kala mereka muda dan budak comot boleh bermanja-manja dengan mereka. sama juga dengan abah dengan emak, garis-garis tua sudah semakin kelihatan memberitahu bahawa umur mereka sudah lanjut.

walau apa pun yang berlaku, mak ngah, mak long leha, abah, mak tetap ada selain nenek dan atuk yang telah pergi meninggalkan budak comot. Aidiladha kali ini tetap meriah bak kata mak ngah-'Hari Raya Aidiladha ni, hari raya untuk keluarga', kami menyambutnya dengan meriah dalam kalangan keluarga. Off course, walau apa pun yang terjadi, budak comot still ada dia orang.

I Love You All So Much!

p/s: esok aku nak buat kek chocolate moist tu lagi, walaupun jadi, tapi aku still tak puas hati!

finally i can bake 'Chocolate Moist Cake'

nak tahu....

budak comot da pandai buat kek chocolate..yang moist punya..

sebenarnya buat tu tak susah sangat...tak boleh kata 'senang'..

kalau senang....people will expect that it is so easy, though it requires great patience!

haha..kek tu ala2 main dish for this hari raya aidiladha celebration in our house....

besides, i just finished reading 'For One More Day-Mitch Albom'.

Compare to the other two from the same author-'Tuesdays With Morrie' and 'Five People You Meet in Heaven', the ending is rather 'a happy ending' as i learn that 'it is never too late to make change, always think wisely and never regretted of mistakes you've done throughout your life'.

p/s: next-'Becoming a Man by Paul Monette'- a memoir of gay-writer's life and 'In Good Faith'- the thoughts and writings by Zaid Ibrahim, local-prominent lawyer.

high-school looks!

gambar ni waktu budak comot form five.
dengan seorang classmate-Nor Asilah Mohd Nor


p/s: ntah apa-apa ntah, muka 'skema', tak pandai senyum, tak pandai 'posing'...amik gambar macam nak taknak jer...

recalling the past...looking to the memories

5 beta siber 1-2006
i'm the one who made that mural '5 beta siber 1'
amik anugerah cemerlang

klaka-when i was in form 4 with Comel!
the school where we made the memories!

a friend from former high school tagged pictures of my classmates and i when i was in form 5
couldn't believe seeing mine and compare it with my 'present' one
yup...everyone including me is different...they are all mature with their own sense of style...no more 'high school looks', 'girls/boys next door looks', 'prefects/librarians/students looks'...everyone has their own goals to achieve, everyone is apart(especially syaza) but the pics tagged brought us closer
laughs, comments, of the pictures...portraying that we are still together
because you and me once had together made the memories that is so precious as it will remain until the end of times....

nabil, syawal, em, mu, salwan, huda, azeera, tirah, fahnim, syafiqah r, asyikin, sabrina k, nadhirah, kama, bash, iqa ayub, syaza, asilah, adilah, puteri, ana, ct., syafiq, nadia...our memories will remain.